Every time I hear the word courage, my thoughts automatically go to the TV sitcom Courage the Cowardly Dog (I hated that show by the way), but never as an adjective to describe myself until recently.
Everyone who knows me knows that I had my entire life planned out for as long as I could remember. I would graduate college at 21, graduate law school at 24, be married by 26, and have my first child making a grand entrance at 28. Funny how much life changes, right? However, here it was the day of my college graduation and I had no idea what my next step would be.
I applied to graduate school late in the school year, barely making most of the scheduled deadlines. I was rejected from my top choice, and another school as well, and I admit I was hurt at first, but I didn’t let it keep me down. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and was accepting the fact that maybe school wasn’t for me so I started looking into jobs all across the East coast.
A few weeks later I received an official acceptance from Howard University and was elated. Howard was my dream choice for undergrad, but after thinking long and hard it was not in my best interest to attend fresh out of high school. However, after looking at tuition and the cost of living in the DC metropolitan area I still didn’t think it was in my best interest to attend, even with a degree under my belt. I needed another plan….. I began looking and applying for jobs in the DMV area and after realizing that I lack both an advanced degree and experience my chance of finding a job in the nation’s capital was definitely slim to none. What was I going to do?
As Summer16 went by and began winding down I was met with the infamous “So, what’s next?” question almost every day. And every time I heard it, I invisibly rolled my eyes. (SN: Never ask someone what’s next after graduation, let them tell you. WE HATE IT!) I was so embarrassed and so ashamed to tell people that I had absolutely no idea. During this down time, I was also offered a full ride AND tuition stipend at Clark Atlanta University, something I definitely wasn’t expecting. When I told my mama and close friends, of course they told me to take the offer without asking any more questions. It did sound like the perfect offer, (no tuition and money in my pocket every semester I couldn’t say no), but I knew deep down in my heart that I honestly didn’t want to be in Atlanta.
I prayed and prayed and prayed and asked for guidance, solicited advice from mentors and friends and honestly, it complicated my thoughts even more. Did I mention I was offered a full-time job in DC too? So now I was faced with choosing between a job, a full ride at CAU and attending the real HU? HARDEST DECISION EVER.
It was 3:41am on a Thursday morning and I was sitting in my living room alone with no TV, no phone in my hand, complete silence and God spoke to me. It’s funny how God will remove all distractions so that you can actually listen to his voice. It was in that hour that God told me that I was going to DC. I had no choice, but to accept.
When my mama woke up the next morning, I told her that I was going to DC. She began asking millions of questions from “How are you going to pay for school?” to “Are you sure you want to be that far away from your family?” to “Do you think you can handle that snow?”. Although I did not have the answer to any of those questions, I simply responded the way she does in the face of adversity, “God will make a way. He always does.”
Keep in mind…I had never stepped a foot on Howard’s campus. I did not know how I was going to fund my education. I had never driven such a long distance by myself. I had less than $200 to my name. I did not have an apartment and didn’t know where I was going to live. All these things that should’ve made me rethink my decision, yet it did not. If anything I was going to use this as even more motivation to get there, enroll in class and excel like I know God has destined me too.
Yes, I was afraid. Yes, my accounts are still low. Yes, I had to take out THOUSANDS of dollars ($37,000 to be exact) in student loans. Yes, I had to move in with my cousin because I could not afford housing, but guess what? I, Karra W. McCray loaded my Khloe (my car) up on Sunday, August 14, 2016 and drove seven hours to live my dream of going to graduate school and living in the big city. And even though I’ve only been here about two months, I just know that I’m in the right place. I just feel it!
So be COURAGEOUS my friends. Take that leap of faith. Don’t let your fears keep you from living your dream. Step out of your comfort zone and do the extraordinary. People won’t always understand (my mom still thinks I’m crazy for turning down the full ride) and they don’t have to. You have to listen to your own heart and desires and do what’s best for you. Indeed it is the only way to grow up and become who you are truly meant to be.
Peace. Love. Hennessy.