This special edition blog was written by Valente' Gibson to celebrate Men's Mental Health Awareness Month.
June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and I want to share my journey in taking my mental health seriously. It all began a couple of years ago when my friend Alicia sent me a book. This small but significant gesture marked the start of a reflective journey, helping me understand who I was and who I wanted to become. The book resonated with me so much that I shared it with some of my closest friends, hoping they’d find it as impactful as I did. Towards the end of the book, it suggested considering counseling for further exploration, but it took me some time to take that next step.
Imagine the joy of marrying your best friend, receiving an International Literacy Award, leading your district Teacher Forum, and having numerous opportunities to advance in your career. It sounds like a dream come true or a boss-type lifestyle. Yet, out of nowhere, I found myself grappling with depression. At first, I didn’t even recognize it for what it was, but eventually, it hit me like a brick wall.
Even though my wife, Karra, was miles away in Rhode Island, she could sense when something was off with me. I’d come home from work, plop down on the couch, and shut myself off from the world. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone or going anywhere, content with disappearing from sight.
The turning point came in February 2023, during a period when I felt utterly lost. Karra had already started her own therapy journey, and I could see the positive changes in her life. She navigated self-reflection with ease, acknowledging areas for improvement while holding herself and those around her accountable. Inspired by her growth, I found the strength to seek out a therapist. Karra helped me, as she always does, find the courage to ask myself, "Do you want to be a better Valente?"
When it came time to choose a therapist, I knew I needed someone knowledgeable, open-minded, and shared my faith. Walking into that therapy room, I immediately felt reassured that I had made the right decision. Today, I often tell my siblings, "Me and my homeboy (aka my therapist) talked about this... y'all should consider giving it a try too!"
There were many times during this journey that I struggled, but I have to show appreciation to some important people who played crucial roles without even realizing it.
Appreciating My Support System
Bridge: If you don’t have a Bridget in your life, you’re missing out. She’s one of the best people I met through Karra. We talk, definitely laugh, but most importantly, we encourage one another through biblical principles. The moments of checking in on work, life, family, friends, and our mental health are invaluable. And ALWAYS willing to celebrate the small and large moments.
Alicia: To know Lic is to love Lic. She’s the queen of long phone conversations, spontaneous visits, and always asking, “What do you need in this moment?” Even when I couldn’t get to Karra in Rhode Island, Alicia made sure to be there for both of us. Of course, as stated before, she introduced me to the book.
Derion: Besides Karra, Derion helped me navigate mental health through his personal journey as well. The long convos that we have and both end up saying “Iight man, we gotta go” lol, holding each other accountable and supporting each other is dope to experience in brotherhood.
Clayton: Even when he was 500 miles away, Clayton always checked in. Our tennis matches were a form of self-care that I needed to do some physical fitness. He’s a brother who shows up, always down to spend $100 on food, and understanding the “send your work calendar” so we can plan something. lol
The Power of God and Therapy
A friend once said a quote that stuck with me: "We have to want, be able, and willing to do the good stuff." The right friendships and community are essential, and therapy isn’t just for when something is wrong. Life is crazy, and having a positive coaching space for reflection is invaluable. Forgive yourself, forgive others, and forgive the lessons to come.
To the men, do something good for yourself and start your journey. To the women, send that book to your brothers, cousins, or any men in your family. Everyone, appreciate who you are and know that it’s okay to prioritize your mental health. I am a better husband, family member, friend, and educator because of it. While not everyone may understand or appreciate the person you become, remember: you deserve it!
-Valente' "Tay" Gibson
One thing I can always appreciate from you my friend is honesty and transparency! You are definitely an example for my two young men. I also love that you were able to have this safe space to begin a crucial conversation that many more black men need to be engaging in. Men’s mental health is so important and can impact all facets of life. Love you and thanks this good read!